BY SARAH LEWIS, Student Life Editor

As I traveled to Orlando, FL and back last week I felt as though I had become all too acquainted with our nation’s system of mass transit. Trolleys, buses, taxis, and planes were a part of my daily routine. I think that sounds a little familiar to what I consider to be a CLASSIC film. Anybody, anybody? My life was a little like “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” with John Candy and Steve Martin, minus all the shower curtain rings.

Sitting in the back row of the trolley’s wooden benches with my yoga pantsed butt sliding left and right with every turn, I couldn’t help but think, “Is this real life?” I never thought I would miss my car, Phillip, as much as I did while waiting up to forty five minutes for a bus.

Then, before our flight home all hell broke loose. I was anxiously sitting at our gate sipping the heaven that is Smoothie King. Our flight was delayed, I didn’t have a seat assignment, AND announcements were being made that the flight had been overbooked and three people wouldn’t be getting on the plane.

OH MY GOD.

At this point, I continued calmly sipping my smoothie, but on the inside my stomach was running laps throughout my entire body. It was then announced that I was one of the people without a seat. REALLY?!? Just. My. Luck.

Now, all I wanted to do was to revert to infancy. Couldn’t I just become a baby, sucking my thumb, wearing a bonnet, and holding my mommy’s hand?

Obviously, I couldn’t be left in Orlando by myself. Even when I was with three other people, I was on the struggle bus. Running around like a hyped up puppy who got into the pantry’s coffee grounds…that was me.

So as I sat in the airport texting my mommy, the rest of my life in Orlando was playing out right before my eyes. I would never be able to come home because honestly, I have no idea how to book a flight, let alone navigate my way through an airport. I could just see myself sunburned and alone, sleeping on random hotels’ chaise lounges by their pools for the rest of my life.

I HAD TO GET HOME.

I was becoming rather frantic and kept thinking how stupid it was that airlines purposely overbooked flights.

NOT OKAY.

After taking about ten puffs of my inhaler to keep myself from hyperventilating, an announcement was made that a seat had opened up for me. A mysterious person decided to take a flight another day so I could get on the plane. I wanted to find this person and give them a high five while rejoicefully yelling, “OLLEYOOOOOP!”

Once I got to my seat I thought I’d be able to relax and read or maybe take a little cat nap on the flight. Meow. Well, I was wrong about that. Some thirteen year old diva kicked my seat the entire flight home. Pretty sure my legs were a good ten inches longer than hers, and I wasn’t playing a solo game of footsie with the chair in front of me all the way to Michigan.

Moral of the story is that I REALLY missed my car last week. I won’t be taking Phil for granted any longer. I realized after this trip that I like to be in control of my destination. Don’t rely on other people to do their best to make you happy because you’ll probably end up feeling like you have to pee your pants wishing you’d been traveling with John Candy instead (another Planes, Trains, and Automobiles reference, I know).