BY MIKE BRENNAN, Staff Columnist

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a piece about people losing their minds in the parking lot, and creeping in the UC.  Shortly after that article was published,  I realized the problems at UM-Dearborn are way beyond mere parking lot issues. Students like to lose their sense of reality over the tiniest of issues.  For example:

1. Parking lot…again:  People seem to fail to grasp the concept that parking lots aren’t race tracks. Last week, I was going to Starbucks with a friend, and some girl in a Land Rover almost t-boned my car at the exit to the road in front of the UC,  she then had the audacity to shake her fist at me like I was the one who fails to grasp the concept of driving. Its not my fault you think you are in the Rangerover 500.  Parking lots are meant for slow moving cars. Deal with it.

2. Smoking issue: Now I’m not going to go on a crazy rant about how not being able to smoke on campus is a direct violation of my human rights,  but I will say that I’m not for the complete ban of smoking.

I realize a lot of people on this campus do choose to smoke, and being forced to go to their car can be a huge hassle.  Likewise, I understand some people are asthmatic and cannot tolerate the smell of smoke, this being the case where prohibiting smoking within a set distance of main buildings is understandable. 

I guess my main problem is with the extremists in the situation.   On one hand, you have the super-stubborn-imma-smoke-wherever-because-I-can-bro guy,  who decides he can smoke right outside the UC doors and nobody will notice.   Now,  sure, there is no REAL penalty for smoking on campus,  but that blatant of a metaphorical middle finger to the administration?  Really bro?

Likewise,  the anti-smoking-I-will-publicly-ridicule-you-guy,   I applaud your sense of entitlement to be citizen policeman, but why does it matter to you? Mind your own business bro!

3. Evergreen Road: Im sure that by now, even most of the freshmen know of the merger from Michigan onto Evergreen to get to campus,  as well as that obnoxious four lane into two lane merger.  If you are not…Really?  Get out and explore the city,  almost everything is out that way (bars, shopping, restaurants, hookah, etc). The problem I have is people who wait on the far left side , knowing their lane ends 15 feet after the traffic light,  and refuse to take action.  If you are there, you need to HAUL ASS to get ahead of traffic!  If not that just creates more congestion.

4. On-line anonymity:  I’m not going to far into the origins of this one,  I just dislike the fact that people have no problem tearing people down online if they do not have to post their real name on their comments.  Lets be honest, your name is not “Anonymous” or “UMD Student”  you probably wouldn’t be reacting as much if you had to put your real name on there.

I want to close this on a more lighthearted note. What constitutes a nacho? Is it the chip?  The Cheese?  Both?    Here’s the deal,  if you comment this on the MJ website,,   and post the best argument,  ill post your response in my column next week,  and maybe buy you a cookie if I like it?  Rules? You have to post your exact name,  and link to your Facebook wall to prove you are a real person. Only current UMD students may enter.  Ready? Go!