Student (is this real) Life – No Shave November

Boy Squirrel Thing (tumblr.com)

BY SARAH LEWIS, Student Life Editor

So, it is finally November; the time of year when I dig my Snuggie out of my closet and look forward to going into a food-coma on Thanksgiving. I associate a few things with this time of year: my North Face, Starbucks’ holiday drinks, midterms, Uggs, Christmas music on the radio, and guys participating in the dreadful event known as No Shave Novembeard…I mean November.

Honestly, what is the point of No Shave November? When I first heard about it, I had to ask, “Is this real life?” Is it really necessary to dedicate one month to the fact you can grow facial hair? First of all, after a few days into the month, you look like a caveman.

Secondly, I start to wonder if you have small animals hiding in your beard which honestly scares me. I don’t want to see forest animals popping out of no-where mid conversation. Who do you think you are? Plays With Squirrels (Eric Matthews) from Boy Meets World? Because that was not a good look even for him.

So, what exactly is the point? Are you just trying to prove to other guys that yes, in fact you have hit puberty and can grow facial hair? Because I’m pretty sure that is a given for college aged guys, and if not I’ll admit I’m concerned. Don’t get me wrong, a little bit of stubbly facial hair on a guy can be rather attractive, but after about a week or so into November I want to run around campus with a razor.

Jack Shephard aka Matthew Fox from Lost knew how to keep the facial hair looking effortlessly HOT. He was lost on an island for quite some time. Or was he even on an island? I don’t know because I never really grasped the last season of that show.

REGARDLESS, Jack kept his facial hair tame because he knew that was the way to GET THE LADIES. Most girls love the five o’clock shadow look.

For all you girls whose boyfriends are die hards taking part in this month, I’m so sorry.

Who wants to kiss someone who looks like Santa Claus? Uhm, not me. No one likes beard burn.

How would guys feel if girls didn’t shave their legs for an entire month? I’m pretty sure that they would throw a fit and cry until the girls broke out the shaver.

You might ask, “Why would you suggest such a terrible thing, Sarah?” Well, maybe I’m lazy and don’t want to shave my legs OR maybe I just want to show all the guys that girls can play the same exact game. Ever think your girlfriend might have a mustache? Well what if you found out because she thought it would be funny to participate in No Shave November right alongside of you.

I have a few theories as to why guys have created No Shave November.

1. They want to see if they can out man each other and grow the sickest beard.
2. They’re lazy.
3. They think they’re funny.
4. They don’t care if girls think they look like Dumbledore.
5. Maybe they already had a beard in the first place.

So guys just keep this in mind, would you rather look like Bradley Cooper in The Hangover or Tom Hanks in Castaway? I think we all know the answer to that. Hint: it isn’t the guy running around a deserted island with a volleyball yelling, “WILSON!!!!”