Source: thegazette.com
Source: thegazette.com

BY SARAH LEWIS, Student Life Editor

When I was thinking about what to write my column about this week, I thought it would be nice to have a steaming cup of coffee while I brainstormed. Not only would I appreciate the caffeine, but I really just love the atmosphere of a quiet coffee shop in the winter. Of course, I prefer coffee from The Grind (if you haven’t had their coffee, or any drink they sell for that matter, I feel sorry for you).

As I started to pack up my laptop, reality came thundering down upon me. I would have to drive probably about 10 or 15 minutes there each way and buy my four dollar cappuccino once I arrived. The drive alone would take gas that I simply didn’t have in my car, and after looking in my wallet I realized that I didn’t even have enough for a single gallon of gas, let alone a Grande Tiramisu Cappuccino. WHERE does all my money go? It’s like Criss Angel has been around my wallet. But then I start to think…Well, I guess I did have to spend money on notebooks, gas, pens, coffee, food, energy drinks, gym memberships, going to the movies…UGH WHERE ARE THESE MAGIC MONEY TREES MY PARENTS ALWAYS SPOKE OF WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE NUGGET?!?

After I snapped my wallet shut I couldn’t help but shake my head while thinking, “Is this real life?”

Every semester is the same in the sense that I’m always flat broke. My wallet has three dollars in it on a good day. In what world is it possible to stretch three dollars from eight in the morning to ten at night? Well I can’t think of anywhere but maybe Narnia, but even that’s a little iffy.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Wow, this girl is lazy. It’s called GET A JOB.” But au contraire, fair reader, au contraire. I admit that the most obvious solution to my problem would be to get a job, but let me explain why that would be the worst “solution” EVER.

This semester I thought it would be a fantastic idea to take sixteen whopping credits. So far the work load hasn’t been overwhelming, but rather time consuming. Let’s just say that on any given Monday I’m on campus from ten a.m. until ten at night, only to be right back in Dearborn on Tuesdays from nine a.m. to nine p.m. I would LOVE to have a job, trust me. In the summer I had two jobs for some time. I was working at a gas dock (I fill up boats with gas and pump out the boats’ toilets…) AND nannying, so believe me when I say I’m not lacking a work ethic. BUT the cruel reality is that NO ONE will hire a girl to work solely on the weekends. I wouldn’t hire someone with such a busy schedule either.

So what IS the solution to my broke college girl problem? I still haven’t exactly figured it out. I guess the best thing I can do, is to do nothing at all. HAHA! Who am I kidding? That’s not going to happen. I’ll continue to drink coffee and pink Rockstars. I will probably not stop going shopping for pointless things like hair bows and pink pens. And you can sure as hell guarantee that there is no way I’ll stop wearing my Bare Minerals makeup, even if it occasionally costs me upwards of sixty dollars. I’m sure at this point, you’re thinking, “Well, she does this to herself! She goes on unnecessary shopping sprees!” And yes, maybe it appears that way, but you would all be LYING if you said you didn’t buy things that you didn’t need.

I suppose I’ll keep going to the ATM to swipe my Hello Kitty debit card until it’s rejected. Like Rebecca Bloomwood from “Confessions of a Shopaholic” stated ever so poetically, “When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.”

But for now I’ll be making little teeny tiny changes in my daily habits…I guess I’ll start with drinking coffee at home instead of always going out to get it. And I’m not lying to you when I say this…there is a watered down cup of Folgers sitting on my desk at this moment. I’m not overjoyed about it, but I can’t complain about anything if I’m not making changes. So here goes nothing…I guess I’ll find out tomorrow morning if the best part of waking up really is having Folgers in my cup.