Student (is this real) Life: Valentine’s Day
BY SARAH LEWIS
So, today is Valentine’s Day. You’re probably thinking that this week’s column is going to go one of two ways. Either, 1–Oh my sweet baby Cupid. I just LOVE Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend, chocolate, and kisses!!!! MUAH MUAH MUAH! Or 2–I hate Valentine’s Day. Happy Single Awareness Day!! I’m so single. Soooooo single. Why don’t I have a boyfriend? FOREVER ALONE.
And I’m here to tell you NO. I do not feel either way about this “holiday.” Yeah, this is real life.
Let me tell all of you mourning, single people that Valentine’s Day is not all that it’s cracked up to be. I’ve spent several Valentine’s Days with boyfriends, and really…it’s like any other day but with more chocolate. Everyone who is single is so convinced that they’re missing out on this huge Christmas-like holiday, and you’re wrong. The only good thing about Valentine’s Day is that your boyfriend is more likely to watch “The Notebook” with you without complaining, but only if you play “Left 4 Dead 2” with him. You can’t just be a taker…c’mon. Trust me.
Anyway, you know what I got as a gift one Valentine’s Day? A Snuggie. Romantic? Nope. It was re-gifted too. It wasn’t like he was thinking “Ohh, I’ll get Sarah this Snuggie because she’s always cold.” It was more like “Oh God it’s Valentine’s Day?!?!? What do we have in the house I can give her?” And no, I’m not being heartless. The guy actually told me that that’s what he did.
I don’t understand why couples think that they need Valentine’s Day to show their significant other that they love them. Aren’t you supposed to love your boyfriend/girlfriend every other day of the year too? Valentine’s Day: “OMG BABY I LOVE YOU XOXO. YOU ARE THE SWEETEST SHMOOKUMS EVER.” The other 364 days of the year: “We’re dating? Meh, I guess I’ll hold your hand, but don’t text me because that’s too needy.” That’s not how it’s supposed to be…AM I RIGHT? If you love someone, you should not love them simply because a Hallmark commercial tells you to (although, I’ll admit those commercials really pull at my heartstrings).
Today, I expect to see a lot of couples posting things on Facebook. Don’t take a picture of the single red rose your boyfriend left you and post it on Instagram with the caption “THANKS FOR CHOOSING ME BBY BOIII.” No. No, I don’t care that he stopped at Walgreens to get you a dying flower wrapped in cellophane.
The solo complainers are typically five million times worse than the obnoxious couples. I’m not exaggerating. I hate logging into Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or WHATEVER to see people posting things like this… “I can’t believe I’m single for ANOTHER Valentine’s Day. I just want a sugar daddy that I can snuggle with while pulling twenties out of his wallet and demanding that he buy me jewelry. Specifically, I would enjoy the open heart necklace from Zales…OMG it’s so beautiful. Too bad I’m single tho.” Yeah, too bad you’re single because you are so fricken annoying. Literally, it is time for you to shut up. Life isn’t about dating someone. If you really want a diamond necklace THAT bad, why don’t you go out and buy it for yourself instead of complaining all day long?
So, the moral of the love story is to show the person you’re dating that you care about them every day instead of just on Valentine’s Day, and if you’re single…WHO CARES. Enjoy single life because most likely you’ll end up married someday regretting how you wasted your youth longing to find your soul mate. But if you’re really that stuck on being miserable today, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and Adele’s “Someone Like You” should do the trick if you’re looking for waterworks. So here’s to you Cupid, I’ll be spending my day studying away in class, caring less about the fact that it’s February fourteenth.