BY VALERIE MERCIER
We’re all curious, but not naturally trusting. Hearing things and being constantly jealous does not help relationships out. We’ve all heard the horror stories about cheating and how they found out, but checking your boyfriend/girlfriend’s cell phone secretly is not the way to go. In no way is it okay to look through their phones without them knowing, but I know that most probably do it anyway, against better judgment and morals.
Clearly something is wrong with the relationship when you feel the need to look through their phones to check up on them. Talking out problems with them is healthier, less invasive, and there’s no way you can get caught. There are no results that really come from checking their phone other than guilt if there’s nothing there. Another more embarrassing turn of events could be a complete misunderstanding on your part. There are more positive results that come from simply talking it out rather than checking in to their private things.
There are reasons why you may not feel up to the task of sitting them down and seriously trying to work out problems, but none that really make too much sense in the long run. Being embarrassed to sit them down because you’re scared to be thought of as being needy is not really a valid reason because in the long run you’ll most likely be doing many more embarrassing activities together, so there’s really no need to be too worried. There’s no reason to hide your true nature and self because in turn you’re lying to them.
Talking it out doesn’t exactly mean coming out and telling them that you feel like looking through their phone, but tell them why without implying your jealous impulses. Although it’s best to be honest, being completely upfront with your intentions could be harmful.
It doesn’t matter what’s in the phone, it’s the principle. Whatever the argument that you wanted to attempt to start after reading his or her texts is all going to come back to “You looked through my phone?” and then BAM. You’re the villain. There’s no clean getaway from looking in their phone because it shows a major lack in trust and morals. There’s definitely nothing to gain from it.