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BY ALEX MICH, Staff Columnist

I stumbled upon a facilities worker here on campus and we had a very nice, brief chat about the smoke-free initiative, or the lack thereof, on this campus. He managed to catch me while I was reading some tweets from this UM-D Problems account.

As such, it got me thinking about all the problems on our campus and just for fun, I figured I would try to answer them. Are these answers accurate? More than likely they will just add more to the next tweets that will be posted on there.

Photo courtesy of UM-Dearborn Memes

The actual smoke free initiative is supposedly in force. Now, I remember many months back that people were worried about this term “voluntary compliance” and that in essence, it is just something that everyone does not have to comply with.

Well, I got a bit side-tracked and found a Q and A page in regards to the policy and yes…the campus does say that it will enforce the ban through this voluntary compliance strategy. However, it does go on to further state that those students who are repeated offenders of the policy will go through existing disciplinary actions through the Student Rights and Code of Conduct.

So how about that, there is an actual way to police this for the countless students who complain about the presence of cigarette smoking. May I suggest actually going about and doing something about it.

Yet, there is nothing to do about the geese. Although, I do find it entertaining that everyone is afraid of the geese. In my time, there has been only one good story that I can account for of any geese actually putting up a fight. That goose would actually sit in one of the parking lots and actually prevent people from going to their cars. In fact, I had to deal with this goose when barbecuing for an event over by the Fieldhouse, and this crazy goose kept inching ever closer to our tent and towards the food. It simply would not go away. So I suppose maybe its offspring will eventually come to rule the campus, but as for now, the rest of the geese are just pushovers. You can try and walk about 5 feet from them and they will just stare you down. Stare back at them as you walk by, they won’t care. Just do watch for the droppings, though. I am actually kind of shocked at how we haven’t just changed our nickname to the “Crazed Geese” instead of the Wolves.

Speaking of which, I heard more than a month ago about changing our nickname to the Wolverines, and yet we have heard nothing more about the issue. I do not know who to attribute for this latest disappointment to. It is not the students’ fault. Student Government has more important stuff to worry about and the Michigan Journal can’t keep following up on every single news headline. No, I want to know when this fellow, this Ken Kettenbeil, will decide to actually let the rest of us know about the latest development behind this proposal.

Again, there is a lot of criticism over the quality of student life on the campus. Sigh, yes there needs to be some drastic improvements around this subject. Certainly, student life will get a big lift when I leave this campus. But as for the other areas of student life, well as I said, certain improvements need to take place. Overall, the changes that ought to be made mimic in large part to what was said by a guest writer not too long ago. What I have taken from the message is that there needs to be a much stronger effort to reach out to a wider audience. It is not just in the way that the organizations design and market their events, but also in the wider approach to things in general. There just needs to be that focus towards incorporating the other 95% of students. Rather than focusing on the goals and necessities of either a group of people or even one’s own selfish purposes to get money, focus on what is needed for the entire campus.

Photo courtesy of UM-Dearborn Memes

Just deal with the high school students in the library. Supposedly, they are not the ones causing all the trouble anyway. Rather, it is our fellow classmates that are reported by Campus Safety as the one that are causing the most disturbances. Granted, I still consider such behavior as more becoming of a high school student than a college student. Maybe that is where the source of the confusion is? Either way, just accept that your classmates are rather obnoxious, or kindly bust them in the act so that they may be removed from the library.

As for this talk of a front door that has been going about for a few years, I often wondered about the success of such a project. I had the privilege to be privy to a conversation between the Director of the Library and one of my friends about the proposed new door. She was kind enough to at least ask us to consider the aesthetics of the idea. What is truly the center of the campus? Do people really want to walk out of the library and look at the parking lot or something a bit more scenic? Now, I do understand that there are certainly many practical reasons for adding a “front door,” but again, is it absolutely necessary to do so? In essence, I wonder about the issue. Is it simply that we are out of touch with the little campus atmosphere that we possess or is it that the library is out of touch with the practical needs of its students? We like to think it is the fault of the campus, but is it honestly our own fault for being too lazy to walk to the other side? I hope not.


The views presented, unless otherwise noted, are of the individual authors and do not necessarily represent those of The Michigan Journal Editorial Board, the University of Michigan-Dearborn faculty or administration.

  • UMDrbnProblems

    insert troll face here

  • Fuckyourself

    You’re a donkey.