Student (is this real) Life – “If Happy Ever After Did Exist…”

(Photo courtesy of O Palsson on Flickr under CC license)

BY SARAH LEWIS, Editor-in-Chief

If you’re synced with society in any way at all, I’m sure you’ve heard the song Payphone by Maroon 5. Whether it’s on your iPod, on the radio, or maybe flowing through the speakers at your local JcPenny’s, I’m sure you’ve heard it.

This song basically sings to my soul. Why, you ask? Well, Adam Levine in all his perfection is telling us that fairytales are a crock in case you’ve somehow avoided pop culture this year and have never heard the song. The only downfall to the four minutes of this lyrical wonderland is Wiz Khalifa’s random rap breakdown about how his cars are all push to start. Okay, Khalifa…that’s irrelevant, and I could care less.

Even though I’m actually pretty sick of this song (because the radio has played it on loop since hmmm I don’t know, May) I can still appreciate the lyrics. “One more love song, and I’ll be sick,” me too Maroon 5, me too. Actually, one more love revolved anything…book, movie, song. Hear me out when I say that I do believe in love, happiness, and relationships and all that, but I don’t think that it’s the only thing we need to be investing in.
Don’t get me wrong, I am an absolute sap and am rather infatuated with Disney princesses and can obsess over practically any and every Rom Com. Accordingly, many aspects of our culture have convinced us that fairytales are real, and every time I curl up with a princess movie, I always hope, “Can this be real life?” But it never will be, and I’ll tell you why.

When I was a child, my life’s ambition was to become a princess and marry a prince. I’m sure a lot of little kids had or have a similar principle to my own. This is logical considering a new royal love story is thrust in our faces every six months. In many of these stories, the main character won’t be made happy until they end up with their “true love.” This is a beautiful idea, sure, but let me tell you, it’s really gotten me confused.

I know that I can be happy and independent without my “soul mate” by my side, but society is seriously making me question the stability of my independence. I feel happy now (without someone) since most everything else in my life is going as planned. I’m passing my classes, I’m not totally poor, my job is perfect, and I couldn’t have better friends or family. Everything is pretty good, right? EEEEHHHH WRONG, every love story ever yells at me. I shouldn’t feel like a failure because I’m single, SERIOUSLY. If you’re single, I say good for you. You go Glen Coco.

I can handle myself and really don’t need a guy to make me feel secure in that, but everytime I watch a princess movie or read a love story, I can’t help but feel swayed. Guys don’t come to your house at 4 a.m. on horseback and sweep you off of your feet in real life. Even though I wish I could fall asleep and wake up to my prince charming, it’s not realistic people. IT’S NOT.

Real life also doesn’t involve musical numbers where lovers sing their feelings to each other. In reality, you’ll probably just keep your emotions pent up until one day you snap and start crying because they said, “You look nice today.” So why am I still waiting for a guy to throw pebbles at my window in the middle of the night with a bouquet of daisies singing a song he wrote about me?

This is WRONG. I know that my life can be complete without a companion. I can’t tell you how annoyed I get when people say things like, “Wah, I need a boyfriend to buy me mozzarella sticks” or “Ugh, I seriously NEED a woman to cuddle with.” No, you don’t need someone to snuggle or buy you food. You need to pass your French exam, so you don’t waste your tuition dollars, and you need to go to work so you can afford to buy a pair of $60 riding boots.

Maybe you honestly just want love, BUT ask yourself if you want it for the right reasons. Are you already happy with your life? If yes, proceed to look for a mate. If no, reevaluate your life and figure it out before you go looking for someone who will probably just make you more miserable.

Honestly, don’t get wrapped up in what society is telling you to do. Don’t try to fall in love with someone because you feel like you need to. The best kind of love happens when you’re least expecting it and when you aren’t looking for it at all, trust me. Let life happen before you set yourself up for what life should be. Graduation and success is much more of a happily ever after than a forced love interest.

My fairytale is me working at an editor desk in the New York Times after graduation. Do I need a husband then? Is a marriage my fairytale? No, that would simply be an added bonus (if I can ever con someone into actually wanting to marry me, that is).