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By JASON SINGER, Staff Columnist

A war is coming.

Fueled by anger, depravity, desperation, and most importantly…dwarves.

That’s right; hundreds of dwarves, or as some like to be referenced as little people, took to the streets in Paris protesting outside of the French Legislature against the law that was recently passed banning “dwarf tossing”. The scene that played out across national news channels made the French shiver with fear, bringing back difficult suppressed memories of the Reign of Terror; a time when angry French citizens were decapitating people left and right just to show that they could.

One might ask, what is “dwarf tossing”?

It begins with the little person harnessing up. Then an individual of normal stature comes, picks up the dwarf, and in a battering ram fashion sees how far the dwarf can travel while airborne.

To some, this may seem harsh and insensitive. But to others, like the participating dwarves, it is a way of life.

As Jean “Le Petite” Jacques, a veteran dwarf who has been thrown for nigh on fifteen years says in a heavily laden accent, “We deserve to make money also. That is what these ‘politicians’ do not understand. They think it is cru-elle, whereas most of us just think it is cool.”

The ban raises bigger concerns, such as the hardships people face during these tough economic times. One protester who is 6’4 inches but has been a longtime friend of the dwarf community asks us, “If dwarves can’t be thrown, what can they do?”

This topic became so contentious and controversial; the U.N Human Rights Committee also took a stance in support of the ban. In a statement made by the committee:

The ban on dwarf tossing was not abusive but necessary in order to protect public order, including considerations of human dignity

What does the Human Rights Committee know about human dignity?

The activity, or sport as some participants like to call it, has sparked international debate. Florida passed a similar law to the French, banning “dwarf tossing”. But

recently Representative Ritch Workman (R) who considers himself the face of human rights spearheaded an attempt to repeal the Florida ban.

“I’m on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people,” he told the Palm Beach Post. “I find the practice of dwarf-tossing repulsive. I would never go to an event. But what I found more repulsive is that in 1980, this state decided that a person of sane mind — a full human with a full human mind — could not make their own decision to act like a fool.”

Exactly! Martin Luther King couldn’t have said it better himself. While dwarves view the ban as forced unemployment, others see it as the first attempt for governments worldwide to consolidate their power against the electorate. And small steps begin with small people.

It is indeed interesting, and perhaps a bit hypocritical, for the U.N. and the French government to take such a strong stance against “dwarf tossing” when in fact French and the surrounding countries have one of the highest prostitution levels in the world.

Speaking of human dignity.

It seems, after all, that Martin Luther King’s dream has not come true. The world is still divided and filled with discrimination; those who have (height) against those who don’t.

In the end, we can all agree on one thing: Despite our differences, whether we are tall or short, white or black, dwarves or non-dwarves, we are all doing what we need to do to get by.

Whether that’s standing on a corner dressed in less-than-posh clothing, dancing at clubs on the weekend, or being thrown across a bar for the entertainment of others.

Dwarves have demonstrated innovation in the wake of adversity; spreading smiles and laughter across countries like France and the United States. And no “Big Brother” style government should take that away.

So I encourage the dwarf community to storm their governments like back in the day when the French dismantled the Bastille brick by brick until their voices were heard.

But advice to my dwarf friends, you may want to invest in a loud speaker so those regular-sized politicians can hear your small, yet not insignificant voices.