The Rebound Shot
BY ELIZABETH BENNETT, Guest Writer
I have a confession to make. I am addicted to love. I know this must be a surprise considering the name of this column. I have had a boyfriend for a long time. Not the same one, but I have been in and out of relationships for many years.
Ever since I started dating, I have gone from one boyfriend to the other, usually breaking up with one to be with another. I have only been single for a few months at a time. I have tried to date casually, but I determined that I am a relationship girl. I’m like Rory Gilmore. She starts dating Logan Huntzburger casually until she sees him on a date with another girl. Then she realizes she can’t just date him and says, “I’m a girlfriend!” I feel you Rory.
There is something about having a boyfriend that makes me feel better. I love the feeling of being loved, receiving kisses, good night and good morning texts, someone lying next to you in bed. I am addicted to being in love.
Don’t get me wrong; I don’t acquire these boyfriends just to have someone. I don’t pick random guys to date just because I need to be with someone. I have no problem being single and having my options open. But when I do find a special someone, it usually turns into a relationship.
This is a simple cause and effect system. The cause is a few relationships; the effect is a few rebounds. Every guy I have dated has been a rebound of the previous one. We could argue that every person we date after someone is a rebound. But I like to tighten the definition a little bit. I think a rebound is someone you date within a few weeks of breaking up with the previous person. Everybody probably has a different definition but that is mine.
Are these rebound relationships healthy for us? I guess it depends on your motive. Some people rebound to make the previous boyfriend/girlfriend jealous. If you have your heart broken, maybe you want to rub it in their face that you rebounded so quickly. Personally, I think it is unfair to the person you are rebounding with. Maybe the person really likes you, but you are just using them to get back at another person. Ultimately, this type of rebound will most likely end because the person rebounding is too busy thinking about the person who broke their heart, instead of the person who they are rebounding with.
Some people rebound because they are lonely. I will admit that I am a little bit of this rebounder. Like I said, I’m addicted to love and being in love. For some people, being with another person makes them feel whole and loved. In this case, I need therapy because if I need to be with someone to feel loved, I’m doing something wrong.
And some people rebound because they genuinely found someone that they want to be with. I am mainly this rebounder. I go through this cycle of finding the same type of guy, then getting tired of him, then pretending like everything is fine, then breaking up with him, then finding the same type of guy. The cycle is never ending. The cycle is never ending because I always think this guy is the one that will break the cycle.
Rebounding is a fine art when it comes to relationships. I think only Chuck Bass and Barney Stinson can truly master it. If my cycle is ever going to stop, I need to be comfortable with myself before I rebound again. Maybe one day I’ll be able to stay single for a long time and just wait for a special someone to come along who will break my cycle. Because isn’t that what we’re all looking for in the end? Someone who will break our cycle of rebounds.