there are days that still feel like lowercase letters.

i have never been good
at being honest at the right time.
i always say to tell the truth,
but i lie with each silent word i do not say.

i think god is as big as the sky,
and every part of the sky is filled with his ears,
so he must be listening to me.
i hope.

but other times,
all i find are words that are bent backward
and the alone of the rain knocking on my bedroom window
and my beautiful wrists
thanking me for not letting go.

i guess these words are supposed to mean something,
but i’m writing them without thinking.

are the cleanest coffee mug i own,
with beautiful flowers
in pink paint
all over its white surface.

are the opposite of a hurricane
but not quite the calm.

if i could actually find a way to not be so afraid
and to maybe be better at loving you
and not be so selfish,
i would tell you this:

i believe humans are supposed to mate for life.
i believe that everyone is meant to fall in love
and to feel it in return.
i believe in tiny humans speaking to me in the radio.
i believe
even non-humans deserve names.
and i believe you and i were put on earth
in the exact same space
at the exact time
for a reason.

let’s find out what it is.