Summertime Sadness

By AMANI BADRAN, Staff WriterSummertime

With this horrific semester coming to an end and the emergence of a beautiful
summer I never thought we’d see this year, only one thing is on my mind: boys.

HA. Right. I have anticipated this summer for so long in hopes that I will spend
it completely stress-free. You know what does not scream stress-free? Boys,
relationships and any kind of interaction with the opposite sex. So I guess my goal
going into this summer is to stay away from that mess, and enjoy being alone. Or,
even better, with my girlfriends.

Speaking of girlfriends, I’m starting to question if I’m ever going to be happy with
a man so long as I have my friends. I tend to find myself straying towards them for
everything in my life and because of that I have never felt a strong urge to really be
with a guy. Am I a lesbian? Probably.

I mean let’s be real.

At the end of the day, we will always hate the opposite sex.

I don’t care if you are in a happy relationship, you can’t convince me that you don’t
hate your significant other at least half of the time. Men will always think that we’re
oversensitive, dramatic and needy. Women will always think that men are stupid,
careless and insensitive to our needs. Because even if everything is going perfectly,
it only takes one slip to remind us that this is really how we feel about the opposite sex.
Just listen to a few of the responses I received from males and females when I asked
them about relationships, and more specifically, summer relationships:

Question: How do you feel about getting into a serious relationship?

Male: “It depends when her birthday is. I made the mistake of getting into a relationship with a girl two weeks before her birthday and I had to buy her a gift.”

Question: What do you think about pursuing a relationship in the summer?

Male: “Well you gotta think how much time you’re going to be obligated to spend
together in the summer. BBQs, July 4 to deal with sweetest day in October.”

It’s always nice to look back on your relationship a year later and realized that your
boyfriend wasn’t exactly pleased to have to buy you a gift for your first birthday
spent together. It’s even more exciting to hear that your “summertime fun” was
nothing more than an obligation to him. Bastards.

And now, the female response:

“I just feel like the summer is hot enough and I don’t need a man constantly touching me and making the heat worse.”

Well, I think that pretty much sums it up.

“I think if you’re going to get into a relationship, it might as well be in the summer
because that’s when I have more free time.”

Relationships = time = energy = stress.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, relationships with the opposite sex feel more like a
job. Screw it. Be single, and if you can’t then be gay.