The Michigan Journal

Summertime Sadness

By Amani Badran

Be single, and if you can’t then be gay.

By Opinion

Don’t worry so much about other people’s comfort, especially if it means compromising your own.

By Laura Sanchez

I’ll be back next semester, hopefully with a bit more bang and a bit more oomph, a bit more adventures, and a bit more life.

By Jason Singer

He learned that dreams are like tampons; neither should be thrown in the toilet.

By Jason Singer

God only knows that my free punch-pass at Planned Parenthood expired during prom week.

By Amani Badran

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this tragedy, it’s don’t ever challenge a plane
to a game of hide and seek.

By Opinion

Losing two pounds in one week is attainable but definitely NOT healthy

By Laura Sanchez

It took me about five years to finally decide what to study in college, but I sure hope it doesn’t take me another five to decide what to do in life.

By Opinion

What are the implications behind their corrupted complacency?

By Jason Singer

I stopped praying for material goods ever since that anti-Semitic jerk Santa Claus never delivered a dwarf pony down my chimney when I was nine.