Be single, and if you can’t then be gay.
Don’t worry so much about other people’s comfort, especially if it means compromising your own.
I’ll be back next semester, hopefully with a bit more bang and a bit more oomph, a bit more adventures, and a bit more life.
He learned that dreams are like tampons; neither should be thrown in the toilet.
God only knows that my free punch-pass at Planned Parenthood expired during prom week.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this tragedy, it’s don’t ever challenge a plane
to a game of hide and seek.
Losing two pounds in one week is attainable but definitely NOT healthy
It took me about five years to finally decide what to study in college, but I sure hope it doesn’t take me another five to decide what to do in life.
What are the implications behind their corrupted complacency?
I stopped praying for material goods ever since that anti-Semitic jerk Santa Claus never delivered a dwarf pony down my chimney when I was nine.